I’d like to read the main text for today, and then we’ll start. Ephesians 5:22 to the end.
We had a quarterly men’s breakfast yesterday morning at First Baptist Church of Culver City. Some of the men here joined. It was a great time. That was part one of the message. Today is going to be part two of the message, and I’ll make that clear where we’re going in a moment.
Okay, so Ephesians 5:22.
Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now, as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the Church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife, loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I’m saying that it refers to Christ and the Church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33, ESV)
Yesterday, since we had a room full of men, the topic was, what do you aspire to in terms of being a Christian man in a church context? What do you aspire to?
And there are various answers. I’m just going to quickly summarize what we did yesterday and then add a little bit and then move on to this message, which is the conclusion.
I think God’s word is clear in First Timothy 3:1, that if you aspire to be an overseer, an elder, a pastor, that is a noble ambition.
1 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. (1 Timothy 3:1, ESV)
And I hope that all men, all women want to be leaders in God’s church. That is a noble thing. If you don’t want that, I wonder, like, then why are we here on earth? Like, why did God place us? Why did God save us in this time, if not to serve him as brothers and sisters, as members of the body of Christ? I hope you want that. I hope deep down that’s what you want with or without the title. I hope that’s what you aspire to.
And if you look at the passages that talk about leadership in God’s church, something becomes very evident. Like in First Timothy 3, Titus 1 and 2, there is a list of qualities for the overseer, the pastor, the elder, things like above reproach, husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-control, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent, not gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. (1 Timothy 3:2-3, ESV)
But I think the key thing to take away here is First Timothy 3:4. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive.
For if anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?
4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? (1 Timothy 3:4-5, ESV)
So there’s a mirroring going on here that you have your household, and that is the training ground for leadership in God’s church. Because this is God’s household. And if you manage your household well, like you’re a husband who is the head of a household, who’s earned the respect of the wife, so the wife is submitting and respecting the husband.
But we as men, we want to not force it and say, oh, you need to obey me, because God word says it. No, we are the kind of men who win over the respect of our wives and our children.
So that is somebody who manages household is being prepared and equipped to manage God’s household. That’s 1 Timothy 3, Titus 1. It adds something in verse 6. It says, his children are believers, and then it says, and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.
6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. (Titus 1:6, ESV)
So it’s hard to know when you have a little child. They’re just following you to church, and they are believing as best they can. But really, the test of time, of how well you led your household, is when they grow up to be a man and a woman, an adult in society.
Are they getting drunk? Are they yelling at authority figures in social media and just complaining about everything? Are they that kind of a person? Then we haven’t done our job.
And it seems like it’s not just can you manage your household well for a season. You need to see over time, as your children grow up into adulthood.
And so there’s a longevity aspect here that we want to see. Our children, do they follow the Lord when they’re on their own? When they go to college, do they have that desire? Because it was a real thing that you were doing in your home.
It’s easy on a Sunday to put on an act, but the people at your home, they see who you really are. And if, and if it’s the real. If you were the real deal at home and you were the kind of person who can earn the respect of your children and of your spouse.
And over time you’re tested because you can’t evaluate over like a year period or a five-year period. you’re evaluating over 20 years, 30 years, as your children grow up into adulthood.
This is how God trains his leaders. And this is how we should test our leaders. There’s many PKs and missionary kids, and they don’t even go to church.
And I wonder, is it because the pasture is not the real deal? And how they are on a Sunday is not how they are at home. And there’s something at home that rubs everybody the wrong way so that a kid grows up to become an unbeliever. To me, these are things that disqualify us.
And so we might say, well, my kids are not all out of my house. And so maybe in some ways am I tested, maybe not. And so these are not rules.
But we should see over time that the person who is in leadership passes every test. And one of the tests is you win the respect of your wife. She submits to you gladly because you are the real deal.
And your children submit not because you’re forcing them to submit, but as they grow up, they honor their parents, their father and mother, not begrudgingly, but from a sincere heart, because you tried their best. Not perfectly, but you tried their best. And they continue to follow the Lord even after they leave your house.
This is how God vets out his leaders. Titus 1, verse 9. Not only this is the one distinction of a elder overseer pastor from a deacon who serves in a different capacity. If you look at the list in Titus 1, 1st Timothy 3, the list for deacons and elders is virtually the same.
Like Stephen, the one who was martyred in Acts, chapter seven. I believe it was chapter seven. He was a deacon, but he’s doing miracles and he’s being martyred. And he is. He’s a shining example of godly maturity. And he’s a. you.
We might say he’s a lowly deacon. No, it’s not like that. Deacons. The one distinction between elder and a deacon is the elder is able to teach. It says that in verse nine, he must hold firmly to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and able to rebuke those who contradict it.
9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. (Titus 1:9, ESV)
Not only do we preach sound doctrine as an elder overseer pastor, we also listen to somebody who’s teaching something a little bit off.
And because we have so much of the Scripture in us, and because we know Jesus so well, something just doesn’t sit with us. It sounds like 90% sounds right, and for most people, they just listen and they accept it.
But there’s something in there, a little leaven of the Pharisees, a little yeast that’s a little bit off. And that thing is corrupting the whole dough because it gets into everything.
And the elder guards the teaching, guards the sound doctrine, and says, that’s a little bit off.
1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. (Titus 2:1, ESV)
And let me go to that brother and say, okay, this teaching, let me show you in Scripture why what you taught was a little bit off. Hopefully, you will win that brother or sister back over to the sound doctrine of Jesus Christ and the apostles.
The danger of false teachers is also mentioned in the next verse, Titus 1:10. For they are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers, and deceivers.
10 For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. (Titus 1:10, ESV)
If you look at a false teacher and you trace back their lives, they have a history, a history of inability to submit under authority.
And wherever they went, whether it was their parents, when they were young, they were critical of their parents. They were argumentative with their parents. They were saying their parents did it wrong all the time. Wait till I’m a parent. I’m going to do it right. They had that kind of a spirit in them.
And then you plug them into a church. They go around, oh, that pastor is doing it wrong. That pastor is bad. Wait till I’m a leader. I will do it better.
This insubordination, this kind of a spirit that says I’m better, wait until I get into the pulpit. Wait until I am a leader. It’s a spirit of insubordination.
So if you. If you look at a false teacher and you look from childhood, I bet this insubordination was all over the place. All over the place. And they are empty talkers and deceivers. Just a lot of words, a lot of flattery. They’re just good with words. They know how to win you over with saying the right thing. They’re just manipulating you.
They’re just manipulating you because they want your ear. I think that’s my. I’m not sure. But they’re just manipulating through empty talk and deceit. Be careful of such people.
If you see a lack of humility, a pride and insubordination, on top of that, just a lot of charisma through words, you’re seeing the makings of a false teacher. And how did a false teacher become false?
Verse 15 of Titus 1: To the pure, all things are pure. But to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure. But both their minds and their consciences are defiled.
They profess to know God, but they deny him. By their works, they are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.
15 To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. 16 They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work. (Titus 1:15-16, ESV)
The source of how they became a false teacher is because they had a conscience that was telling them, you shouldn’t be like this, you should humble yourself.
This is a conscience, this is a prompting of the Holy Spirit. When the pride was rising up, there was a conscience, a Holy Spirit prompting. It’s supposed to nudge us. Say, you shouldn’t be like this, son. To your parents, you shouldn’t be this way.
And in terms of being a member of a church, you shouldn’t be so judgmental, so proud, so argumentative. You shouldn’t be this way. But because they kept going against their conscience, eventually it got damaged, it got seared.
And to them, like everything that’s pure is no longer pure, it becomes defiled by them. You understand the principle. But if you have a good conscience, to the pure, everything is pure, even impure things. Somehow it doesn’t latch onto you, it doesn’t defile you in the same way.
But to the unpure, to the defiled, everything is further defiling and corrupting. Just to prove my point about deacons, if you look at 1 Timothy 3, the list there is virtually the same as the overseers and the elders. The only difference is there’s no mention of teaching.
And he says in verse 8, deacons likewise must be dignified, not double tongued. Double tongue just means deceitful. What has a double tongue? It’s a snake. A snake has a double tongue. You speak out of both sides of your mouth to somebody, like a politician.
8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. (1 Timothy 3:8, ESV)
You flatter them, you say whatever you need because you want their vote, you want their support. But behind closed doors, the other tongue speaks. You say, oh, that guy’s a fool. That guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You just flattered him, you just complimented him. You speak like this, with a double tongue.
That’s how you know a false teacher. Because they say something to your face, but you got to listen. What do they say behind your back? A lot of empty talk, a lot of deceit.
If you ask me, how was your week? If I’m double tongued, I will say, it was great when it was terrible. No, I’m honest. If you ask me how my week was, I’ll tell you. Like, oh, I had a rough week. I was struggling with this. There’s no, I’m not here to pretend like I’m above the clouds.
We want to be real. We want to be honest. Nobody here is perfect. We want to be straight. We want to speak honestly, transparently. We’re not hiding something. Like a false teacher will hide themselves through a lot of words, a lot of double talk, double speak.
We are not like that in the body of Christ. We pray for each other, we’re honest, we have integrity. No wonder the devil in John 8:44 is called the father of lies.
44 You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own c haracter, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44, ESV)
False teachers just lie. They can’t help themselves. You catch a pastor lying even once, I probably would say you shouldn’t go to that church. If they lie even one time, like, don’t they have fear of the Lord? Do they care about winning the person? It’s like they don’t fear God that they can lie to your face.
That means they don’t really believe in God. They’re living before people with this double tongue. We shouldn’t lie. We should be honest, we should be vulnerable, we should be transparent. We should pray for one another.
First Timothy 3, this is now talking about the deacons. It says they must be tested first. Let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless.
10 And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. (1 Timothy 3:10, ESV)
God tests his leaders. He’s not looking for perfection. He’s looking for a transformation a little bit at a time, over time. He’s looking at longevity. He’s looking at consistency as much as possible over a long period of time. An improving, a sanctifying more and more like Christ over time.
Not gaining in knowledge, not gaining in ministry effectiveness. These things can be faked. He’s looking at the person, the heart. They’re tested, they have longevity, they’re blameless. The children are believers, which needs decades to evaluate.
We see all the scandals in God’s church. It’s because they were a youth leader as a single. Someone gave them a title as a single just because they speak well and they had zeal and they went to seminary and I would say, were they tested? Were they tested?
I was a college minister as a single, I was reaching out to people. As a junior one year old Christian, they gave me a title right out of college. I was single. I was 22, 23. I got married and I didn’t understand how God needed to vet me and prepare me to be a pastor. I didn’t understand God. God was gracious.
His love covers over a multitude of sins. It wasn’t ideal, but God eventually got me there through homeschooling and he said, get on my program, Ray, get on my program. And the thing I wanted to do, like the last thing is to homeschool my own kids.
And as a pastor, I’m not the One who’s like, working and then seeing them in the evening. No, I’m with them 24, 7. It’s the last thing that I as a dad, which sounds weird. It’s the last thing I would choose to do. And God says, do this, get trained.
You’re not ready yet. You’re not sanctified in the ways you need to be sanctified. And so he put me on a program of homeschooling.
God tests his leaders. He wants us to be blameless. He wants us to be consistent, have longevity over a long time, be tested.
It speaks of younger men in Titus 2. It says in verse 8 that we have opponents. And may they be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Not just the elder, the overseer, not just the deacon, not just the older men.
8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. (Titus 2:8, ESV)
Now it’s talking even about younger men. So it’s not about the title. He’s really looking for consistency and blamelessness in his bride. All of us, but especially the leaders. Especially the leaders. But he wants this for all believers.
We’re all the bride of Christ, and we’re going to be presented to himself with splendor, radiant, holy, without blemish. And so the younger men, we have opponents who are coming after the men in the church, trying to disgrace the name of these men, these younger men. And they dig around for dirt, and there’s no dirt.
And yet, if you dig around just a little bit, with all these big-name hotshot pastors, just a little bit of digging, a lot of dirt, they’re disqualified. They should never have occupied the office. Never to disgrace the name of God like that.
The older women, Titus 2:4 mentions working at home. There’s a lot of feminist woke culture out there. And I understand that wives want their career, and it’s hard in California to survive without double income. I understand all the realities of that.
4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:4-5, ESV)
But as I look at God’s word, the women were supposed to be trained by being a mom at home. It says working at home. So if you can’t, you can do a job. But make sure you’re at home, make sure you’re present with the children. That’s what God is saying.
And of course there’s exceptions. None of these are rules. There’s always exceptions. Like Lydia in the Bible was a businesswoman in Philippi, and she sold cloth and she was into textiles. And there was a Macedonian call from Paul.
He was trying to spread the gospel in Asia. And there was a call to go to Philippi, to Macedonia, to Europe. And God used this woman and her home as a home base for the mission to expand through Europe.
So of course there’s exceptions. But I want to encourage the moms who will eventually become grand moms, who will be speaking into your daughters and your daughters in law. God’s word. The starting point is moms at home.
And if God tells you no, I want you to go against my word, here’s a specific assignment, then you have permission. But the starting point where we wrestle with is he says this in his word. It’s not outdated, it’s not archaic, it’s God’s truth.
And so we start with what God says in his word. As a mom, you won’t regret it. You might regret it if your kids are not walking in the faith and you’re busy with your career and you gave your children leftovers. But you will not regret it.
Mothers, if you gave your best energy, your best, the prime of your life for your children to be present with them, to love them, you will never regret that. That one I can guarantee.
So you start with God’s word and then if he permits you, he gives you a different assignment, then go do that. But let’s start with God’s word. And this is a. I didn’t speak about this, but since we have sisters here, first Peter 3:1 speaks of the wives conduct and potentially having a unbelieving husband.
In verse one, it says still be subject to the husband, but win them over. How do you win over an unbelieving husband, or an unsanctified husband, or a husband unworthy of respect? How do you win that husband over? You do it without a word. You do it with your conduct. You do it with an imperishable beauty.
Verse four of a gentle and a quiet spirit. So I spoke yesterday to the men, I spoke a little bit today to the women. But if you take a step back, it’s not actually God. God.
God is not actually talking about having a good marriage and having a good family and having believing children. It sounds that way. It really does sound that way, that this is the end goal. But if you look at the summary statements of all the passages that I read, I’ll just, I’ll just read them all and then we’ll discuss it.
First Timothy 3:14.
I hope to come to you soon, but I’m writing these things to you so that if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.
Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness. Now here is the main point, the mystery of godliness. He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory.
14 I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these things to you so that, 15 if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth. 16 Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness: He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory. (1 Timothy 3:14-16, ESV)
So there’s a training happening in the home as a husband, as a wife, raising children, but it’s not actually about that. The Holy Spirit, may he give revelation to all of us. He’s speaking about the mystery of godliness. Jesus appeared. It has something to do with Christ and the Church. He is our husband, we are the bride. Same with Titus 2:11.
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.
Waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us, to redeem us from all lawlessness, and to purify for himself a people for his own possession, who are zealous for good works. Declare these things, exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.
11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 13 waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. 15 Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you. (Titus 2:11-15, ESV)
Again, the mystery of godliness is Jesus appeared. It’s Christ in the church. He’s purifying us. The tool is the marriage. The tool is the parenting of young and immature children.
16 Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness: He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory. (1 Timothy 3:16, ESV)
The tool is not doing in a domineering way, but doing in a way to win over respect in a sacrificial way and also on the receiving end of the leadership in the home. Doing it, making it, making yourself lovely, easy to love, so that it just, it’s just smooth, it just works well in the home.
This is all training ground because there’s some qualities that he’s trying to birth in us. There’s some impurities he’s trying to get out of us, so that when we relate to Jesus, our bridegroom, as the bride, we relate to him properly with love and respect.
Do you see the connection? And if you want to see it very clearly, it’s Ephesians 5, because he goes back and forth with the two metaphors. You have the natural metaphor and then you have the Spiritual metaphor. Ephesians 5:23.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. (Ephesians 5:23, ESV)
Husband, wife, Jesus, and the church head and the body. And then he says, 24. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives submit in everything to their husbands.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:24, ESV)
So is it about wives submitting to husbands? Is that the main takeaway of Ephesians 5? It’s a big component of it. But if that’s happening in the home.
But as Christians, we live out our lives. But we, as the church, who is functioning in the wife role, in a sense, in the bride role, are we submitting under Christ’s authority in everything? That’s what matters.
And that includes in your home. Because Jesus says, do this in the home. But not just in the home. Every part of your life is Jesus the head. That’s the takeaway here, of Ephesians 5.
And then same for husbands, Ephesians 5:25. Husbands, love your wives. As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Husbands, love your wife, how?
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, (Ephesians 5:25, ESV)
The way that Jesus loved the church. Sacrificially denying himself, dying to himself, even an unlovely bride, because he died for us while we’re sinners, were enemies of God, and still he loved. That is a high calling for a man.
Even Hosea to Gomer, a prostitute, go after, go chase after her. This is a high calling for a man to love the way Christ loved. Hopefully the wives make it a little easier. You’re not like Gomer. You’re not an enemy of your husband. You’re a lovely person, and so it’s easy to love you.
Likewise, husband, you’re a respectable man. It’s easy to respect and submit to you. It goes both ways. And all of this is training for us to love Jesus. How, we’ll get into that.
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33, ESV)
But in terms of submission, it’s clear. Submitting to Christ in everything. And then verse 31, man leaves father and mother, holds fast to his wife to become one flesh. It’s a mystery. It’s our union with Christ. Christ in the church, we’re becoming one. In Christ, we’re becoming like Christ.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31-32, ESV)
How does he get us there? The training in the home, over decades. Because you can’t fake it. You can fake it on a Sunday, you can’t fake it. If it’s your life over the last 40, 50 years, you can’t fake that. So there’s a difference between training and game time.
Like, I can be perfect in my free throws when I’m playing in my driveway, no pressure, my heart rate is calm. I’m very relaxed. But can I do it in the fourth quarter? Game on the line. I’m so exhausted.
Can I do it in the game time? The Christian life. We’re training. Our whole life is training. He trains us through being under a horrible boss. He says, submit under that authority, don’t be argumentative. Do it unto the Lord, not for your boss. There’s training there.
There’s training for a wife submitting under an unsanctified husband. That’s training to submit to Christ in everything, even things you don’t want to do. Husbands to lead and to love. An unlovely wife, husband who’s not sanctified. That takes a lot of dying. That’s a training.
Because that training needs to show up. Game time. Christ in the church, your life, not just at home, but everywhere you are. This is the game time. You got to show up the real you.
How do you get there? How do you become like Jesus wherever you go? The aroma of Christ follows us wherever we go. How do you get there? It’s because you got trained.
Marriage and family, raising of kids is all training for Christ in the church. So how can I love Jesus? How can I love Jesus? Because we are the bridegroom. Jesus is loving us, but still Jesus wants us to love him in return. But how do we love him? We don’t love Jesus the way he loves us. Right? That’s a little circular.
Jesus is showing love to us and we show love to others that way. But how does Jesus want us to love him? It’s a little different, right? To get an answer for that, we look to the beloved apostle, the apostle of love, Apostle John. He had a PhD in love. If you read his letters, he’s all about love. How do we love Jesus?
Apostle John really loved Jesus. Jesus really loved John. John 14:15, if you love me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:23, if anyone loves me, he will keep my word. John 15:10, if you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love. 1 John 5:3, for this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.
So how do we love Jesus? We keep his commandments and we keep his word to the best of our ability. This is the general commandments of God, all of the Word of God.
We have to sow it into us so that we know what to keep. Like, if you don’t have the Word of God in you, you don’t even know what to keep. You could be sinning left and right and not even knowing that you’re sinning. you, you need to have the Word of God in you so that at the end of the day you can go back and the Holy Spirit shows you a verse and says, oh, I didn’t follow that verse today.
If the Word of God is not in you, if you don’t know his commandments, how can you keep them? This is why we do Bible reading. We need to know, in a general sense, how to keep God’s commandments and to keep his word. But that’s very general.
And then there’s a very specific side of the will of God. How can I cement under Christ? How can I show Jesus and God the Father proper respect? Because here, husband and wife is about love. Husband’s love, wise respect. So we take that lesson to Jesus, God the Father.
How do we love Jesus? Keep his word. Keep God’s commandments. This is how we love them. Love God.
How do we respect them? How do we submit under them and show them proper respect? The text I have is Matthew 7. We’ll end with this. Matthew 7:21.
Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father, who is in heaven that day.
Many will say to me, lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and cast out demons in your name and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, I never knew you. Depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ (Matthew 7:21-23, ESV)
And when you look at the list of things that these supernatural workers did, it sounds like that counts. It falls under the category of doing the will of God. And yet Jesus says, you didn’t do it with my permission. You just got saved.
And then you got a calling, and you just ran with your calling. You didn’t consult the Lord. You didn’t ask him. You just ran with the calling instead of following the one who called you. That’s a big difference. That’s a huge difference.
So these people were following their calling instead of the caller. And Jesus says, I don’t know you. And so the Christian, we have the general commandments of God. You don’t have to pray. Should I love my spouse? Yes, you need to love your spouse. You don’t have to pray about such things.
Can I marry this unbeliever? No, you can’t marry an unbeliever. Don’t be yoked with unbelievers. God’s word is clear.
These are general things. But now, case by case, we ask the Lord for specifics. For example, there are 10 commandments in the Choi house. Clean up after yourself. Don’t be a slob. Do your chores, study hard. Do it unto the glory of the Lord. Don’t give your parents a hard time. Honor them. Obey them in everything. And then I know Elijah is thinking, don’t exasperate me. Don’t nag me.
And so if it’s chore day, and it’s a very easy chore, it’s very short, and it’s a chore day. And I tell Elijah, go do your chores. And then two hours later, he didn’t do it. And I say, why didn’t you do it? And he says, well, I cleaned up after myself. That’s one of the commandments. I was studying hard. That’s one of the commandments. What will I say as a father? I’ll say, well, yeah, it’s great that you generally follow my commandments. But did you do what I said? That’s the difference.
A believer not only loves the Lord and shows that you love the Lord. You generally keep the commandments, and you generally follow the Word of God to the best of your ability. Not perfectly, but you try your best.
But the second mark of a Christian is you show God proper respect, and you do what he says when he says it. That’s why it’s different. Casting out demons and doing ministry is different from doing the will of God. Doing the will of God is tailor-made for you and me.
It’s moment by moment, day by day, season by season. Are you doing what the Lord says? That means you ask who, what, when, how, how much. All the specifics we ask the Lord, not just, okay, we’re going to fly her until Jesus returns.
No, who, when, how much do we change strategy? Do we stop? Do we pivot? We keep asking the Lord. We don’t just, okay, God gave us a word, and we’re going to march out on these orders and keep doing it over and over.
Now we keep on asking the Lord because he is our head. We submit to Jesus in everything. So it’s a general will of God. Yes, we follow and keep to the best of our ability, but we must train ourselves to hear the voice of our shepherd.
And he says, go here today. Do this today. This is the will of the Father. I’m communicating to you today. Stop doing that. Okay, Rest. All of this is showing proper respect to God our Father, to Jesus, who is our head.
How do we learn this attitude through marriage and through parenting over a long period of time? It doesn’t stop there. It’s great if you got that down, but if you don’t live that way and show love and respect to Jesus and God our Father, then you’ve missed a point. This is the mystery of Godliness.
Okay, let’s pray.
Father, we’re so thankful that you gave us revelation on a text that seems obvious now, but we missed it.
So oftentimes when we hear sermons about this, it seems like the main point is not the main point. Thank you. That finally, Lord, you’re unlocking the mystery. you’re giving us revelation.
Lord, we want to love you the way that you love the church. As husbands, we want to love in that way, sacrificially, even to unlovely wives, even in difficult circumstances. We want to love as you love the church. But that’s not how you want to be loved, Jesus or God the Father.
You want us to love you by keeping the commandments in a general sense, knowing the commandments, keeping them to the best of our ability, not being a faker, not being a liar, not being deceitful, not being double tongued, but honest, having integrity, being transparent, loving you the best we can in a general sense.
Wives are taught to submit to their husbands. But Lord, this is actually about submitting to you, Jesus, because you’re the head of the church, you’re our shepherd. We’re just sheep. Forgive us for just doing things on our own however we want, asking you to bless us, being so disrespectful to you. We call you Lord, and we live as if we’re the Lord. We’ve gotten the order wrong.
We’re the body of Christ. We’re under this, we’re under submission, under authority. We submit ourselves under Christ as his body. The head determines everything.
So, Jesus, we want to start asking you more clearly, more specifically, moment by moment. Who, what, when, how, how much. And we trust that you will speak in a way that we can hear.
We don’t want to just run with our ideas and let years and decades go by and then wonder, why is my life so messed up? It’s because we disrespected you. We didn’t check in with you. We ran with a calling, an assignment. Forgive us, Lord.
We pray that you would meet us as we partake in the Lord’s Supper. Thank you for Your Body that was broken for us and Your Blood shed. We pray that you meet us in a special way as we close this service. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
