Tenderhearted

Transcribed by Beluga AI.

Let me read from Psalm 103:1-12.

¹ Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! ² Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, ³ who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, ⁴ who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, ⁵ who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. ⁶ The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. ⁷He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel. ⁸ The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. ⁹ He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. ¹⁰ He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. ¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; ¹² as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. (Psalms 103:1-12, ESV)

Okay, let’s pray.

Father, as you’re commanding us to bless and not curse, we want to receive help from above on how we can do this better, more consistently, with the right heart. Please teach us in this time. We surrender to you now. In Jesus’ Name we pray, Amen.

Did anybody bless people this week who are difficult to bless? Okay. Oliver. Anybody else? Maybe Sophia was blessing her sibling. Anybody else? Susan? Susan? Yes. Yes. Okay. Sister Sarah.

The reason why I read Psalm 103 is it says in verse 9,

⁹ He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. (Psalms 103:9, ESV)

And keeping his anger forever, another way to say it is he does not hold grudges. So today I want to talk about overcoming grudges, overcoming pettiness, which blocks the ability to really bless people who curse us from the heart.

It says in Leviticus 19:17-18. I don’t know if you’ve ever read these verses, but let me read it to you.

¹⁷ “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. ¹⁸ You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:17-18, ESV)

Verse 7, it says, you shall reason frankly. It actually should say, you shall not rebuke.

There are times that we are called to rebuke people in love for their benefit, so that we don’t keep on reaping the consequences of their sins against us. But we know that’s not something we can do with everybody.

It says in Matthew 7 that we are not to judge, and we take the plank out of our eye when we are trying to help other people and take the speck out of their eye.

But he says at the end of those verses, be careful who you share a word of rebuke or correction with, because if you tell it to the wrong person, they will turn on you and trample on you.

But in this case, the encouragement is to try if he is a neighbor, if you do have a relationship, if you think it’s going to be a fruitful conversation, if you think the person is humble enough to receive it, then rebuke your neighbor so that the sins stop against you.

But he says, don’t take vengeance or bear a grudge. Because what if your neighbor doesn’t take it well? What if he doesn’t repent? Then are we supposed to take vengeance? Are we supposed to bear a grudge?

It says, you shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge.

¹⁸ You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:18, ESV)

The word for bear a grudge is very interesting. It means to guard, to watch over, to cherish your anger. That’s what bearing a grudge is. you’re taking care of it, you’re cherishing it, you’re keeping it going, you’re maintaining it.

It’s a strange thing that we do in the wickedness of our heart, that we bear grudges against people. And God says in Psalm 103:9, he does not hold grudges against us. He does not keep his anger forever.

The more we get to know the Lord. Before we were lovable, while we were enemies, while we were sinners, we were sinning against him left and right for decades. And he still pursued us. He still showed kindness to us. He still loved us. He still sent his son to die for us.

He still went after us, and he saved us. In that act of salvation, we recognize who he is. We repented of our sins, meaning the Lord. He did not hold a grudge against us. He could have. Think if we are in the position of God and we are watching you, you from birth, all the sins you committed for 10, 20, 30 years. If he were like us, do you think he would be kind toward us? Thankfully, he is not like us. He does not hold a grudge. He does not keep his anger forever.

And he showed us mercy. And this is coming from a tender heart of the Lord. I want to just talk about the tenderness of the Lord and His call for us to also have tender hearts.

Last week we covered 1 Peter 3:8-9. Verse 9 was,

⁹ Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. (1 Peter 3:9, ESV)

But if you’re like me, there are a handful of people that you’re trying to bless and you just can’t quite. I mean, you can get the words out, but you know, the emotions are not right. You know, there’s a memory of what this person did over a long period of time. And it is, it is so difficult to bless.

Happens with children to parents, parents can happen with children. It can happen with spouse to spouse. They did something for a prolonged period of time and we cannot let it go. And it harbors a grudge. We bear a grudge against this person.

And as we try to follow what God says in his word, we do it begrudgingly. The grudge is still there, but out of obedience we’re pushing out the words, but we know the heart is not right.

And the verse prior to 1 Peter 3:9 is verse 8.

⁸ Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. (1 Peter 3:8, ESV)

A tender heart. It’s a word that’s hard to describe. It comes from deep within our bowels, our heart. And from it comes a wellspring of compassion and mercy and kindness and love. And that is God’s heart. That’s how he can forgive sinners. That’s how he can forgive his enemies. While Jesus is being nailed to a cross, he has only a heart of forgiveness. He’s praying a blessing over the people who are crucifying him. This is the heart of God. And he embraces the suffering of man’s sin. And he offers a prayer of blessing and forgiveness.

The more we get to know the Lord, shouldn’t this also be our heart? A tender heart. It’s the same word in Ephesians 4:31-32.

³¹ Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³² Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32, ESV)

So out of this deep, bowel-level, heart-level compassion, mercy comes forgiveness and love. And this is something we need to put on if we’re fellowshipping with a love God, with a heart of this kind of love toward us, a tender heart that is always expressed toward us.

We need to put this on, as it says in Colossians 3:12-13.

¹² Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, ¹³ bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (Colossians 3:12-13, ESV)

This compassionate heart, this tender heart where affection and love and forgiveness overflows. This is God’s heart toward us, and he wants us to have this heart toward other people.

Last week I talked about indifference.

Here’s one description of indifference that I found in Scripture this week. 1 John 3:17.

¹⁷ But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? (1 John 3:17, ESV)

This closing of the heart is the same root word. This compassion, this affection, this forgiveness is closed off. You shut off the emotion. The heart is closed toward this person. It’s the same as murder. In fact, it could be worse because you’re acting as if this person doesn’t exist.

In James 5, there’s an example of Job. And Job is lifted up in verse 10.

¹⁰ As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. ¹¹ Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful. (James 5:10-11, ESV)

So, example of suffering and patience. How did Job suffer? He suffered in his Body. But I think the most difficult suffering were the suffering at the hands of his so-called friends, who gave words that were completely off and misrepresented the Lord, saying, Job, you are not righteous. Job, you must have sinned. God must be angry with you, and that’s why you are suffering like this.

They totally misrepresented a righteous man before the Lord. And they acted as if they’re talking on God’s behalf. But they’re talking as an instrument of the enemy, an accuser, and accusing him falsely.

And so Job is suffering these words that span 40 chapters of abuse at the hands of so-called friends. But the amazing thing happened in Job, we read about in Job 42:7.

⁷ After the Lord had spoken these words to Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite: “My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has. ⁸ Now therefore take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves. And my servant Job shall pray for you, for I will accept his prayer not to deal with you according to your folly. For you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.” ⁹ So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went and did what the Lord had told them, and the Lord accepted Job’s prayer. (Job 42:7-9, ESV)

Job is a great man because he had a tender heart.

How many of us would bless friends who abused you for 40 chapters? That is the greatness of Job. It’s the suffering he bore because of the sins of his friends more than the suffering of his Body.

I think more difficult are the words of his so-called friends. And he obeyed the word of the Lord. He offered a prayer of blessing. And he just came from a tender heart. He was able to forgive his friends.

And there are many people in our lives we need to forgive. And they will never apologize to you.

They will never apologize to you. And there’s a difference between forgiving somebody and reconciling with somebody. You can only reconcile truly in Christ.

In the case of Job’s friends, Job’s friends repented. They met the Lord. Job was with the Lord; he forgave his friends. A beautiful reconciliation happened at the end of the book of Job.

Reconciliation is few and far between. But we forgive, and we pray that such reconciliation is possible in Christ. Meaning that person who abused us, they meet the Lord, they repent, and they recognize, I abused you. I am so sorry.

And a beautiful reconciliation can happen. Reconciliation cannot happen if forgiveness is happening one way and the other person says, what do you mean? I didn’t do anything? I didn’t do anything wrong. There is no reconciliation that is possible.

But on our side, we forgive. That comes from a tender heart. Reconciliation, we pray that it may happen at some point, that that person would also repent and meet Jesus, come to you and say, sorry, I did not know I sinned against you.

Here we see a classic case. Job was ready to forgive, but his friends also repented. And there was a beautiful reconciliation that happened in Christ.

I want to end with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

⁴ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶ it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, ESV)

Think of the heart of Christ and our Heavenly Father as they waited for us prodigals to come home. In my case, for 19 years, the father, he waited. He waited. He bore all of my sins. He hoped that one day Ray would turn back and repent and meet his Savior, his son.

And as long as we have breath, we have a chance. The people we’re praying for, that it’s so hard for us to bless and we’re so tempted to curse.

As long as they’re alive and they have breath, our heart is we still hope, we still believe. We bear their sins, we bear the memory of their sins in forgiveness.

And we believe that as long as they have breath, they can meet the Lord Jesus and turn, and we offer a prayer of blessing against them. We don’t keep a record of wrongs. We know they did wrong; we’re not sweeping it under the rug. They’re not apologizing to us.

So we, we’re not best friends with them, but our heart is.

We forgive them and we rejoice with the truth. And when bad things happen to those who are bad to us, we’re not secretly delighting that they are under judgment and they’re going through a trial, and we’re not relishing in their turmoil and their tragedy.

No, it breaks our heart. That is God’s heart toward that lost person. And God wants us to get over our pettiness and learn from him and receive his tender heart that he had toward us, that we would genuinely be able to bless right now.

It can feel so forced, but eventually, may it come from a deep level bowel compassion toward this person who doesn’t know Jesus. They would not treat you this way if they knew Jesus. If they mistreated you, they would say sorry if they knew Jesus.

The fact that they’re blind and they keep on hurting people and people have come to them and said, I’m trying to take this speck out of your eye. Instead of receiving that correction, they trample them and say, what do you mean I didn’t do anything wrong to such people.

We still keep praying, we still keep believing. We still bear the sins they’ve committed against us, and we forgive them, and we pray a prayer of blessing. Please, Lord, save them.

Let’s repent of all of our grudges. Let’s let them all go this morning. God is. God knows they did some wrong things, but we are a people who don’t hold grudges. Because what if God held a grudge against us? We would never be saved. We deserve hell. God doesn’t keep His anger. He doesn’t cherish His anger. He lets it go.

God wants us to let go of all the painful memories from childhood in our adult life, people who wrong us. God wants us to let go of all the pettiness, all the grudges. Learn from him his tender heart and from the deep level, heart-level compassion. Start praying a prayer of blessing for those who have wronged us.

Okay, let’s pray.

Father, we see your heart toward us as soon as we turn to Jesus. You erased 19 years of sinning. Every time we sin, as soon as we repent, it’s as if we’ve never done it.

You cast it into the sea as far as from east to the west. Our sin no longer remains in your memory. You don’t harbor grudges. You don’t keep a record of wrongs. You are this loving, this compassionate, this merciful. And if you express this type of heart toward us and you forgive us, how can we harbor grudges? Why is it so hard for us to forgive? You understand the pain we went through. You understand the wasted decades of our lives. You understand it all, Lord. But Lord, in you everything is restored, everything is redeemed.

Maybe there won’t be a true reconciliation in our lifetime. But Lord, it is our duty to forgive, to let go of all grudges. How can we ask you for forgiveness unless we forgive? We want to learn from you. We pray that you would give us your heart. We repent that our heart is so wicked, so small. When somebody wrongs us, we just shut off our hearts, shut off our emotions. We become indifferent. So wicked, Lord, a heart that’s so quick to curse, slow to bless. Forgive us, Lord. Forgive us, Lord. We want to do better.

We want to do right. We want to bless people who curse us, want to forgive people who wrong us. Right now, it may seem forced, but eventually, Lord, we ask for a heart that can genuinely forgive.

Genuinely bless, genuinely let go of all the wrongs and keep no record of it. Help us, Lord. Help us, Lord. Our heart is so different from yours. Help us, Lord. We repent in your presence. Please meet us as we come in our brokenness.

As your Body was broken and your Blood was shed, we come in all of our brokenness. We pray that you begin to mend our hearts. Fix our hearts. We need heart surgery, Lord. Fix us, Lord. From our bowels, from the deep inner man. We need you, Lord. We need you, Lord.

We can’t forgive. We can’t bless. Forgive us, Lord. We’re so indifferent. You want us to bless the world, every man, woman, and child. Your heart is for the world. Your heart is for salvation of every person, and we can’t even bless a fraction of the world. A handful of people that we, that are in our family, that we cross paths with even one time, we get so annoyed. So just cursing comes out of our lips from our hearts, even one-time encounters with people who are unsanctified, who don’t know you, who don’t know any better.

Forgive us, Lord. Pray that you minister to us. We plead the Blood of Jesus over us, starting from our heart. Fix our heart. Plead the Blood of Jesus over our heart and our emotions, our soul. Revive our spirits. Cover and cleanse us, every cell in our body from head to toe. Minister to us as we close out this service. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.